Various Yami and Yugi Adventures
by Darkness-Yuugi
Summary: This is some of my Yu-Gi-Oh! Fics from 2002, and I Fixed them up and placed them here. Hope you enjoy what I have put together.
1. Default Chapter

Chapter 1: Yami & Yugi's Stupid and Faultless Adventure.  
  
Yami, Yugi, and His Friends are on a pretty pointless adventure; they are on their way to find an obnoxious and non-existent in question 'Ooo- Ooo'. Yugi beat Pegasus for the 72nd time, and Pegasus didn't like that, so he did something to pay them back. After beating Pegasus they started their Stupid Adventure Of The Dancing Ooo-Ooo, but, no matter how hard they try; they can't find, let alone see anything at all. No thanks to Pegasus, he replaced their eyes with Balls made of Twine. The balls of twine are supposed to resemble the pain that Pegasus had to suffer when the millennium Eye was put to his own. But Yugi, Jyoonouchi, Honda, and Anzu are less fortunate, because Pegasus had to only suffer from a loss of one eye.  
  
"I have a Question, Why does Jyoonouchi have that stupid accent?" Yugi Asks.  
  
"Why do you care? I have been suffering from many symptoms and it is hard to get over." Jyoonouchi Implies.  
  
"I have been suffering from something like that for quite some time. I sound as if I should work in an India Slave Factory. And I'm Japanese!!!" Bakura Adds.  
  
Yugi looks away and pretends to whisper whale unnoticeably starts to point.  
  
"I always thought he was from India." All out of the ordinary, Anzu blurts out in the most Annoying voice. "I wont to inject Ham in me!! Is that a problem?"  
  
Being really Bitchy and Bitter, Yugi looks at Anzu as if she was the only stupid person in the entire universe tells her "Anzu, everything to you is a problem." Anzu then looks away and begins to pout.  
  
"You're a little bad ass, Yugi." Honda says.  
  
"Yeah, I know." Yugi states as he closes his eyes.  
  
"I wont to inject paper in me." Jyoonouchi Yells.  
  
"Gosh, You know, it starts as a Chain and ends like a bitch." Yugi says then looks at Jyoonouchi. "Uh, Guys I trying to—"Bakura says but doesn't finish because Jyoonouchi just wont shut up.  
  
"—And it is hard to do because it is a whole object and—"Then Yugi cuts Jyoonouchi off.  
  
In a real agitated voice, Yugi yells, "Will you shut the hell up, Jyoonouchi, Bakura is trying to talk!!!"  
  
They all stop and there is an awkward silence.  
  
"........................................Well, Bakura, the stage is yours. ^_^" Yugi says.  
  
"Thank you, Yugi, I just wonted to finish my story..." Bakura looks at Jyoonouchi and finishes what he is saying. "...Jyoonouchi, You're a Bitch."  
  
"We all know that. Anything else?" Yugi implies.  
  
"No that was it." Bakura finishes. "Yugi, Oh! I almost forgot, do you wont to duel me, for fun?"  
  
"Uh, in a little bit, I'm not ready and I'm sleepy." Yugi says whale yawning.  
  
"Huh? Your such a looser, Yugi, turning away from a duel." Honda laughs.  
  
Right then and there, a Vein in Yugi's head just pops, and it's bulging.  
  
"Listen, Honda, if you weren't such a damn' Cupcake-Square I wouldn't have to explain anything to you twice. And besides, since when has it been the age when you dueled?" Yugi yells, and Points out.  
  
"Nani?" Honda asks. "I rest my case, you fruit Cup." Yugi smirks.  
  
"Shut up, spike boy!" Honda yells back.  
  
"You know what Honda, lick my butt, you toe head." Yugi hashed back.  
  
"Nani, a toe head?" Honda asks, as usual.  
  
Yugi slaps his head. And simply tells him; "In question, a 'toe head' would mean 'A Blond' obviously, you are not a blond..."  
  
"That's Right..."  
  
"...But you act like one!" Yugi says. "And that goes for all of you, Anzu, Jyoonouchi, You ALL ARE DITSEY!!!"  
  
The screen zooms out.  
  
"Ha, Ha, Haa, I can see you Yugi." Pegasus says from afar. The you hear a noise as if a rock fell into a pond. "Damn it, not again, my millennium Eye fell into my glass of the finest Fruit Juice. Mai get the chop sticks."  
  
Mai yells with her mouth full, "Ooo-Ray" She says whale eating a box of glitter.  
  
"Oh, and Mai, get the Super, Super Glue." Pegasus says.  
  
Mai hands him the glue so she can get the Millennium Eye from his wine glass.  
  
"Damn it, again, I glued my eye to my hand." Pegasus looks up. "I can still see you Yugi. I may have one eye, and may look like a Cyclopes, but that won't stop me.  
  
"...Cyclopes!" Mai remarked. 


	2. Distraction

Chapter 2: Distraction  
  
[Yells] Yugi: Hey people, do you want to play a game of duel monsters?  
  
[Looks down at Yugi] Honda: I don't duel, Yugi!  
  
[Looks up at Honda, Glares at Honda and says to Honda.] Yugi: I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to Jyoonouchi!  
  
[Yugi stares at Jyoonouchi for a few minutes] Jyoonouchi: [Sleeps] Zzz.Zzz.  
  
[Yugi then gets frustrated and start to say.] Yugi: Jyoonouchi.Jyoonouchi.[Then Shouts] JYOONOUCHI!!!  
  
Jyoonouchi: Ah, What?!  
  
Yugi: Do you wanna' duel me?  
  
Jyoonouchi: I'm Hungary, Yo, Yugi, where do you wanna eat?  
  
[Twitch] Yugi: Err!!!  
  
[Anzu gasps, and tries to explain.]  
  
Anzu: What Yugi is trying to say is he wants to duel you, No Duh!  
  
[Jyoonouchi Still wasn't paying attention and inoculation.]  
  
Jyoonouchi: C'mon lets go!  
  
[Yugi thinks: Oh, man, I thought he would never come through]  
  
Yugi: Okay, shuffle your deck, then.  
  
[Confusion]  
  
Jyoonouchi: Waa!? I was talking about eaten' and you're talkin' about duel!!  
  
[Smack head]  
  
Yugi: Okay, lets go to Zombie Burger!!  
  
[Jyoonouchi drops jaw]  
  
Jyoonouchi: Ah, I just lost my hunger!  
  
Yugi: Then lets duel!!  
  
[Thinks]  
  
Jyoonouchi: Ah, lets eat I'm hungry again!!  
  
Yugi: Les go eat!!  
  
Jyoonouchi: NANAI!!!  
  
[Anger!]  
  
Yugi: KONNICHI-WA, JYOONOUCHI!!! DOWN TO EARTH, JYOONOUCHI!!! I'M DOING IT AGAIN, JYOONOUCHI!!! DOWN TO DUELEST KINGOM, JYOONOUCHI!!! ERRR, DOWN TO. lets just get off the subject!!!  
  
Jyoonouchi: Hi? Eh, Huh?  
  
[Anger + Frustration + Confusion + BAD Hair day= Uncontrollable Seizures and Willingness to Kill Things Within The Surrounding Area!] (Also known as 'The USaWtKTWTSA')  
  
Yugi: Die, Die, DIE!!! I'm going to KILL you Jyoonouchi!!!  
  
[Runs]  
  
Jyoonouchi: Ahhh!!!  
  
[Hears screaming and threats in the back ground]  
  
Anzu: Shit, I really don't give a Damn what Yugi does to him!!!  
  
[Honda Agrees]  
  
Honda: Me too!!  
  
[Cringe]  
  
Anzu: Ewww, that didn't look too good!!!  
  
Honda: No, Duh! Who would think that as little Yugi is could jam a tree bench that far up Jyoonouchi's ass!!! Way to go Yugi!!  
  
[Yugi looks at Honda and Anzu breathing heavely and back at Honda, then throws the branch that was just pulled out of Jyoonouchi's ass at Honda!!!]  
  
[Screams like a women]  
  
Honda: We got to do something!  
  
Anzu: Hell No, this is looking pretty good!  
  
Honda: Lets go before he ACTUALLY KILLS JYOONOUCHI!!!  
  
Anzu: All right, all right!!  
  
[Runs over to separate Yugi from Jyoonouchi!!!]  
  
Anzu: All right, that enough! Easy, Yugi! Calm yourself, I'm gonna hill him!!  
  
[Squeeks]  
  
Jyoonouchi: Eeek!!  
  
Honda: No!!  
  
Jyoonouchi: Thanks Honda, I new I could trust you!!  
  
Honda: I'll kill him!!!  
  
[Squeeks]  
  
Jyoonouchi: On nooooo!!  
  
Find out what happens to Jyoonouchi on the next Episode. 


	3. Noseless

Previously on Millennium Member, Yugi had a terrible Hissy Fit, and he is putting it all out on Jyoonouchi! Maybe it was the rum, anyway, Jyoonouchi fustrated the poor little Yugi, and he has had it! So now he wants to kill Jyoonouchi, Anzu and Honda really don't care what he does to Jyoonouchi, and they finally decided to help him, and it starts.  
  
Anzu: No one is going to kill anyone okay.okay, I Said OKAY!!!  
  
[Says Pissed]  
  
Yugi: Okay, Okay, Okay, Damn, Anzu you sound like a damn broken record and player!!  
  
[Pulsated, whale waving fist at Yugi]  
  
Anzu: That was Highly Deplorable!!!  
  
(A Few Hours Later) [Looks]  
  
Honda: .  
  
Anzu: Hello!  
  
Yugi: Konnichi-Wa! [Smiles ^_^]  
  
Anzu: You people suck!!!  
  
[Says Squeaky]  
  
Yugi: I will eat your heart!!!  
  
[Smiles]  
  
Anzu: Okay!!  
  
[Throws Up!]  
  
Yugi: You Sick-  
  
[Interrupts]  
  
Honda: HOLD IT, NO CURSE WORDS!!!  
  
[Silence]  
  
Yugi:..Bitch!!!  
  
[Says with great disrespect]  
  
Anzu: You are a dumb-ass Whore, Honda!  
  
[Sweat drop]  
  
Honda: ....How did you guys ever guess!!!  
  
[The Whole Group Cringes]  
  
[.....Interrupts]  
  
Pegasus J. Crawford: My eye, MY EYE, where is it.Oh, hi, Honda, When can we meat again. if you know what I mean!!  
  
[Sweat Drop]  
  
Honda: Heh, can I talk to you later?!  
  
[Growls]  
  
Pegasus: Any time, Honda! Bye!!  
  
[Yugi grabs the closest Guinness Book of World Records and finds.]  
  
Yugi: Ah, Ha! Pegasus J. Crawford!!! He is the biggest crybaby, that weird I never pictures Pegasus as a crybaby, and. Um.[Screams] Ewwwwww!!!  
  
[Yugi drops Book]  
  
Yugi: My eyes, my eyes, they burn Help me!!!!  
  
[.2 ½ Years after group therapy]  
  
Yugi: I Fell so much better!!!  
  
Anzu: My American name looks like TEA!!!.....I'm MAD!!!!  
  
[Looks funny]  
  
Yugi: You shore has a weird way of shoeing it!!!  
  
Anzu: Urusai!!  
  
[After Anzu tells Yugi to shut up (In Japanese) Bites her Nose off]  
  
Anzu: Ahhh!!! You Sick LITTLE Freak!!!  
  
[Spits out nose]  
  
Yugi: You Sick Whore named Yusilla!!! Never EVER tell me to shut up!!! Okay.Friend!!! By the way your nose tastes like I don't know what!!!  
  
[Snorts]  
  
Anzu: I don't care; Give me my nose back please!!!  
  
Yugi: Okay, okay I'm sorry, I'll try to glue it back on!!!  
  
Anzu: You Sick Midget Yugi! [Screams because Yugi just clanged onto her Ankle]  
  
Anzu: Owed!  
  
[Anzu Kicks Yugi off]  
  
Yugi: Ah, horrible taste!!! What did you do play in shi-  
  
[Interrupts]  
  
Honda: Okay no cussing here!!  
  
Yugi:. ...Bitch!!  
  
Jyoonouchi: Okay I will let you "Girls" fight this out on your own!!!  
  
[Includes: Yugi, Anzu, Honda]  
  
Anzu: Okay this is a girl thing!!  
  
Yugi: Yeah, You better Watch your ass, Jyoonouchi!!!  
  
[Yugi and Anzu start pulling each-others hair and screaming like women]  
  
Anzu: Hey!!!  
  
Narrator: .No offence, Anzu but It's true; you're more of a man then Honda!!!  
  
Honda: Just because you make me gay in this series, doesn't make her stronger!!  
  
[Long pause]  
  
Narrator: Yes it does, even Little Yugi is Stronger than you!!  
  
Yugi/Anzu: Naa, naaaaaa!!!  
  
[Interrupt]  
  
Jyoonouchi: Stop it!  
  
Yugi: Stop it!!   
  
[Yugi stops but Anzu is still bulling Yugi, and pulling his hair, biting and hitting him, Yugi on the other hand is starring at Jyoonouchi!!]  
  
Yugi: I said stop it, Anzu!! You are such a glass of Tea!! Anzu!!  
  
[Bite]  
  
Anzu: Owww that hurt!!!  
  
Yugi: So, what, you were still biting and pulling my hair!!!  
  
Anzu: And, you didn't have to bite my Boob!!!  
  
Jyoonouchi: Listen up you two. there is no time to waste!!!  
  
[Interrupt]  
  
Yugi: Who and the hell made you Father Time?  
  
Jyoonouchi: No one but still! Ah, forget it!! Change the subject!!!  
  
Yugi: Why should I, you're being a jack ass and you want me to change the subject, by the way, you called me a-  
  
Jyoonouchi: A Woman!!  
  
Yugi: Yeah that's it!!  
  
Jyoonouchi: Well you are!!  
  
Yugi: Why I Otta!!  
  
[Scream]  
  
Jyoonouchi: What the hell!!!  
  
Anzu: See I told you!!!  
  
[Yugi just bit off Jyoonouchi's Nose!!!]  
  
Jyoonouchi: Owwww, my nose!!!  
  
[Then Yugi goes around the biting off every bodies nose!!!]  
  
Anzu: Ow!  
  
Jyoonouchi: Ow!  
  
Honda: Ow!  
  
Bakura: Ow!  
  
[Then some random duelists noses. you can hear screams from them as well!!]  
  
Yugi: If you guessed it.yes I collected them too, and a count of 6,653 noses all together!!  
  
Jyoonouchi: Give me My nose back!!  
  
Yugi: Ooooooooooooo-kaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!! Nope, not this one, or this one, or this one!!!  
  
Jyoonouchi: Oh, just forget it!! This would take forever!!  
  
Yugi: Forever is a long time, yai, hey how bout I bite Pegasus's nose off?  
  
Anzu: What are you collecting noses for??  
  
Yugi: So I can throw them at Pegasus!!!  
  
Honda: Ohhhhhhhh!!  
  
Yugi: It's the only reason. oh and to put them in his food and fruit juice, and Gorgonzola cheese, He, he, he!!! Jyoonouchi, Quit calling me shrimp!!!  
  
Jyoonouchi: You got it!!  
  
Yugi: What did you utter?  
  
Jyoonouchi: Utter.? Hold the Phone, Yugi were are the cows??  
  
Yugi: Okay, I believe you!  
  
Jyoonouchi: I'm sorry I uttered!! He, he, he!  
  
Yugi: Some people are better from afar!!!  
  
Honda: Mind your manners, Yugi!!  
  
Yugi: Urusai!!  
  
Anzu: Hold it!  
  
Yugi: Hold what?  
  
Anzu: Your Horses.what.? What are you looking at me like that for?!?!  
  
Yugi: Uh, Anzu we don't have any horses,!  
  
Anzu: maybe so, but what we have time for is time to D-d-d-d-d-d-d- Duel!! Sorry I-I had to do that!!  
  
Yugi: What are you making me? You are making FUN if me!!!  
  
Anzu: Yes....I mean no!!  
  
Yugi: Well?  
  
Anzu: La, la, la, la, la.  
  
Toon in for the next PART!! To be continued!! 


	4. Jyoonochi & Chocolate Don't Mix

Yugi and the gang are sitting under a very big tree; Yugi at the moment is felling a little hungry. (You don't see that everyday!) So he pulls a chocolate bar out of his backpack Jyoonouchi then says. Jyoonouchi: Uh, Yugi, I don't think you should be eating chocolate, it uh, makes you hyper.  
  
Yugi: Shh, Jyoonouchi.[looks around] It isn't mine!  
  
Anzu: Eh? Hay, where did you get that chocolate, Yugi? [Yugi looks around and.]  
  
Yugi: What chocolate? [Yugi then starts jamming chocolate in his mouth rapidly.]  
  
Anzu: The one that is half way in your mouth, maybe! [Yugi looks up with chocolate all over his face.]  
  
Yugi: Oh, He, he. That chocolate! [Anzu then charges at Yugi and tries to take it away!]  
  
Yugi: No, my chocolate!!  
  
Anzu: No, my chocolate!! You stole it from 'ME'!! [Honda walks over to the both of them to make a suggestion.]  
  
Honda: Why don't you duel over the rest of the chocolate? [The stop fighting and think.]  
  
Jyoonouchi: Yeah!! A quick duel! [Awkward pause.]  
  
(Definition for 'Quick Duel': A Phrase I made up, short game, draw a card from your deck and highest monster wins, 'Quick Duel')  
  
Yugi: Oooooooooookayyyyy!!! [The Chocolate is now kicking in!]  
  
Anzu: Okay, but we better hurry!  
  
Yugi: Rules; Shuffle your deck, and draw the top caaaaaaard off, off, off, the top of your deck, the Monster with the [Screeches] Highest attack wins!!! [Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle.Draw]  
  
Anzu: ....Damn.*Gasp*.I play the Petite Angel!!! [Slurs]  
  
Yugi: ..Hmm...Dark Edition... [Dr-ool]  
  
Anzu, Honda, Jyoonouchi: Huh!?  
  
[Whisper]  
  
Jyoonouchi: I think he means The Dark Magician!!!  
  
[Yugi says this in an uneven voice]  
  
Yugi: I'm not as think as you Hyper I am!!!  
  
[Anzu slaps head]  
  
Anzu: Oh, Boy, this is going to' take a while!!  
  
[Yugi then runs up the closest tree and for some odd reason, ther eis sawdust and woodchips coming from the branches]  
  
Yugi: Heh, heh, heh, heh, heeeeh! [Falls from tree!]  
  
The Gang: *Stare*  
  
Jyoonouch: Eh, Yugi.Yugi.YUGI!!!  
  
Yugi: Eh?  
  
Jyoonouchi: You, ah, alright?  
  
Anzu: Yugi get up here!!! [Anzu then slaps Yugi! Yugi then jumps up as if nothing happened.]  
  
Yugi: Uh, Nani? [Yugi then pulls a weekly edition of Shonen Jump out of his backpack.]  
  
Anzu: Where in the Hell did you get that weekly edition of Shonen Jump, Yugi?  
  
Yugi: My backpack, where else? ^_^ 


	5. Tree Branch Fun

-Be Shore to.  
  
Be shore you have a glass, or flask, or jug of. something so you can go along with the Fic. This is one of my famous drinking games fic's where you take a drink at every, for instance, a "ADSLaILAHYCDI" and you are probably looking at the computer like 'What the Hell is that?" I understand, but as you read this Fic, you will soon figure out "what the hell" it means. ^_^  
  
-Okay, now that out of the way:  
  
Yugi and 'The Gang' are in the tree once again, it seems as if they go anywhere else, anyway there is going to be a 'Narrator' in this episode, and if there are any Deplorable remarks on that subject than you can just-  
  
Yugi: Not if front of them! Take long, but short breaths, if you catch my 'flow'  
  
Narrator: You're right, Yugi, I should calm down! [Take a drink every time Anzu, Jyoonouchi, Honda, or 'The Narrator' give 'A Damn Spirit Lifting and Intolerable Lecture About How You Can "Do It"'] (Another words The "ADSLaILAHYCDI") Any-who, lets continue.  
  
Yugi: [Lightly whistling with crossed legs and swing feet with his arms around to the back of his head, says.] What did you say anything? I wasn't listening!  
  
Narrator: Yes, as a matter of fact I did, I gave a lifting spirit lecture.  
  
[Yugi looks up in a dazed face.]  
  
Yugi: Ooooooh, I never listen to those Damn Lectures!!  
  
[Narrator stares confused like]  
  
Narrator: Uh, Huh! Well, were is Jyoonouchi, and the gang? [Draws in the gang]  
  
[Yugi looks up in a big bright sparkly, eyed notion, when he sees the rest] Yugi: Oh there you are!! I was so worried about you guys!  
  
Narrator: [Whispers] This is where you take a drink. again!!  
  
[Jyoonouchi goes by the tree and sleeps, ah, hell, they all sleep, But, Yugi.]  
  
Narrator: A Few Hours Later!  
  
[Yugi brakes off a tree branch off the tree very quietly.] .Then. [Smashes Jyoonouchi in the back with it, little Yugi hits so hard that the branch busted into 1,000 woodchips.]  
  
Jyoonouchi: Owwwwwwwww, what the Hell?! [Yugi hovers over Jyoonouchi, with a smirk! And says.]  
  
Yugi: Hey Jyoonouchi!! Wanna' Duel? [Jyoonouchi Flops on to the ground before little Yugi could even finish his sentence, so.]  
  
[Yugi brakes off a tree branch off the tree again quietly.] .Then. [Smashes Jyoonouchi in the back with it again in the same spot, now he is pissed]  
  
[Anzu wakes up to ask.]  
  
Anzu: What are you doin', Yugi?  
  
[Yugi looks up and answers]  
  
Yugi: Beating him in the back with a branch, in the back!!!  
  
[Anzu's expression looks dull, and changes into a smirk]  
  
Anzu: I Wanna help!  
  
[Now there both beating Jyoonouchi in the back with a stick]  
  
Narrator: Don't you just love the love that, Anzu, and Yugi are giving Jyoonouchi? Oh look Honda joins too. 


End file.
